I love God more than ever

christ_knight

James says:
cool.
2008/06/01 @ 11:54 PM

Hi James, I heard you went to appreciate Kong Sheng. He was very excited and happy, because he needed the appreciation!
    
    
timo says:
hey syl! i actually feel exactly how you feel. it applies to all, not just leaders who have feelings, needs and what not. more importantly, that we are given a chance to speak out, and be understood for what we want to mean instead of throwing it out
2008/06/01 @ 09:14 PM

Hey timo, yup. I understand your frustration. Sometimes the issues are real and worth looking. I have learnt to really listen over time, and help the person.
    
    
photo-madness - says:
yup, love, my brother. Love is wat fills the gap!
2008/06/01 @ 04:15 AM

Hey andy, Love in a real family
    
    
sheanerd says:
great! it's being real. it communicates so clearly what we've been thinking. =)
2008/06/01 @ 04:14 AM

Hey sheanerd. I guess all we need sometimes is someone who will really listen to us.
    
    
llamalamer says:
brilliantly voiced! keep that up!
2008/06/01 @ 03:36 AM

Hi lamalamer, thanks !   
    
kare says:
i like the way u ended ur post.hurr.PAP.
2008/05/31 @ 11:26 PM

Hi Kare, hahaha.. Yeap PAP. I avoid being too over-controlling.  
    
kare says:
those are a lot of things to want! haha. but the best part is, we can want those things =] (yes i want those things too) =]
2008/05/31 @ 11:25 PM

Yes. Kare, God is the giver of good things I guess.
    
    
Kyo says:
xup man, yeah i agree with ya say. Hey go live out Matt 6:33-34. If you live it out, you can do all things through Christ. RELATIONSHIP RULESZZZ
2008/05/31 @ 11:00 PM

Yo, Kyo! I hope praying with you that night helps
    
    
Cheryl says:
quick to listen and slow to correct I've got someone in mind to appreciate alr (:
2008/05/31 @ 10:36 AM

Hey cheryl, I know who you appreciated! Great !
    
    
Cheryl says:
HAHAHA Your entry is one funny thing but remember to go appreciate those you said are

Yup. I must practice what I preached! I will. Thanks for the reminder

christ_knight

A typical timetable of a cell group leader cum student/soldier/working adult

Have you appreciated a Cell Group Leader today? Do so, after reading this.

0800 - Wakes up, washes up, bathes, rushes for work/school

0830 - Replies to smses from church, friends from previous nights, pass any important call chains. Thoughts of some cell group problems come to mind, some thoughts of work and studies come across too, but there is no time to think about them now.

0900 - Reaches school/workplace. Prepares to focus on work. Got to use all our mental strength for this period of time.

0930 - 1200 - Stress and Stress! Workload at school/workplace/army. Got to try to talk to friends. Mingles with them. Peer pressure on one hand, wanting to mix in, so that the gospel can reach our friends on the other hand. Some cell members sms to say that they don't want to come church this Sat. Added stress, added, worries.  Some cell members sms to say they want catering. Some cell members sms their Quiet time, some cell members sms their encouragement. Gotta read all these smses, in the midst of work.

1200 - Lunch time! Gotta call area leaders to report certain things while eating! If not no time later! Half eating, with food in the mouth, half talking to friends and on the phone with area leader!

1300 - After lunch is always the BIGGEST BATTLE with the "Z" monster. Struggle to stay awake, while typing the document. Boss/teacher at school/camp/workplace comes in, and shoots extra "arrows", and sets deadlines for certain things to be done. Sigh.

1300 - 1700 - Lots of work, projects. Staying awake after lunch was really tough. Eyes are tired from staring at the computer/laptop. Feeling physically tired, mentally drained. Outside world work can be really challenging sometimes.

1730 - Prepares to leave work. Makes last arrangements to meet cell group members for prayer meeting, half way around Singapore. Tell members that you will be late because of traffic jam.

1800 - On the bus, finally some time alone, to think, to reflect. Takes out notebook to prepare for prayer meeting, what to pray, what to say, what to do. Members sms to say they are not going to prayer meeting. Begins to pray for them. After which, continue to prepare for prayer meeting. Pastoral leader/area leader calls to ask why this member did not come to church. Talks and explains on the phone for the next 20 minutes. (wow. no incoming call free)

1930 - Reaches prayer meeting place. Cell members look down, showing "black face". Starts prayer meeting.

2030 - Gotta decide whether to join members for dinner after prayer meeting! Hanging out with members is important, but has been out the whole day. Tired physically and mentally too. 

2200 -  At home now. Went to eat with cell members and found out certain things about certain members. A fruitful time together. But mom is complaining always so late reach home. Tries to explain to mom but to no avail.

2300 - On the bed. Totally tired. Feels like sleeping. Spends some time with God. Prays for the day and the next. Sigh, a long day tomorrow again. Gotta meet 2 members for discipleship.

"God, give mr strength", prays the cell leader.

But, who can help us physically?

christ_knight

The "apologising moment" at Radical Conference was great.

Its never to late to apologise. (So, One Republic's Apologise doesn't make sense, though its a nice song)

It was the best opportunity to cast down heavy loads which were on our hearts.

I apologised to the first person, because I felt that I did not really care about her, but yet always made assumptions in my heart that "she was not doing spiritually well".

At that moment when her name came to my mind, I felt like a hypocrite. I felt like,"If I really cared for her, I would have tried to spend time with her, talked to her about her life, instead of always trying to find out why she was spiritually down"

I guess I only cared about "HER PROBLEM", but not care for her as a PERSON.

Well, I have been a victim too.

People come up to me and tell me they care, when I was down. They try to help me "see my problem".

But, the sad thing is, I could not even feel the slightest bit of care that they were trying to show. All the while, it was more of like, "please-quickly-get-out-of-your-issue-and-move-on".

When someone comes and talk to me about my life and my walk with God, I can see through the person. I can see if you truly love and care for me. I can see whether you were talking to me only "to get me out of satan's trap" or whether you truly love me as a brother.

I can see whether you care more about The Ministry or whether you care more about my issues in life.

When you talk to me, I can see whether you just want to "SOLVE MY PROBLEMS QUICKLY", or whether you are willing to walk it through with me.

Lisa (service 2) puts it best when she said, "you can claim to love people all you want; and yes, i believe that the intentions are of the noblest and purest... but what good is it if that love does not "go through"; it does not reach its rightful destination -- the human heart." 

http://missygoody2shoes.blogspot.com/

On the other hand,

How caring can we be if we talk to "Peter" (an example name), and after that tell another person that the conversation with "Peter" was very demonic? Isn't this indirect gossip, and unnecessarily demonizing "Peter"? It just shows that we are only concern about the problem, and not the person!

What "Peter" needs is genuine care and love and a listening ear, not silly conclusions that he was "demon-influenced".

I hope that when I talk to people the next time round, I will be the one who truly care and listen. I don't want just see the person's problem. I want to see the person as a person, and hopefully, walk it through with him/her.

Back to the apologising moment.

I feel that when there is a need to humble ourselves to apologise, leaders (especially leaders of God) should always take the first move. If there is a need to ask for forgiveness, leaders should be the first to set an example, to ask people for forgiveness too.

I mean Jesus washed His disciples feet! Who are we that we should not make the first move to show humility and say sorry to our members? Kings? Queens?

How can we tell our members to step out to apologise, when we ourselves are not stepping out to say sorry?

So I put aside my pride, and went forward. It was hard, but the minute I said sorry, I cried.

But I could feel the Holy Spirit lifting a burden off my heart, when I apologised. I felt set free. I felt that I could face these 2 people properly again, that there was no barrier between us any longer.

It was truly encouraging to see some fellow leaders going forward to apologise.

christ_knight

The Birthday Boy, Bro Rixiang at the Flyer!

The Flyer

The Organiser who booked all 28 tickets for us, Sis Nana.

Its As If We Were Flying

Vivian and I

Old Friend

My Favourite Photo

The View of Marina Bay and Central Business District

Clarke Quay, Satay Club

Vivian and Huat

Joyce and Vivian

Stingray, Chilli Prawn, BBQ Prawns @ Satay Club, Clarke Quay

christ_knight

Why can't we voice out concerns?

Why can't we ask questions?

Why can't we provoke others to think critically?

Why do we have to "complain" through blogs? (because there is no available channel for us to voice out.)

My school would definitely let me voice out my concerns.

The army, my Superiors, ask me if I have any issues at work. They let me voice out.

My workplace, would let me voice out about problems in the office.

My family, would care to hear about my issues.

I definitely don't want a church, upon seeing my blog entries, approaches me and tells me that it is inappropriate for me to post such feelings online.

THAT, I would say, would make us no different from PAP.

renegade4x.blogspot.com

christ_knight

I think my dreams are coming true.

I wanted this year, after ORDing, to be a year of doing odd jobs, experiencing life, and travelling much.

At least for the traveling part, its coming true!

In July, there will be my first EVER FAMILY OVERSEAS TRIP TOGETHER! And I thank God for that! Our family traveled individually, but never as one family before! I prayed! Yes I prayed for courage for my mom to take a plane! AND SHE AGREED!

So in July we are going to Thailand. (I went Thailand in April already..)

Then in late July, I might be going Redang, Malaysia with some church peeps. Lets see. I hope to go!

In September, I will most probably be going to Australia with Adel and family to visit Audrey! Will be my first trip to Aussie,and so looking forward to it. I heard we might watch WHALES out in the open! WHALES!

I hope by then, in February 2009,I will find time and energy to go on a one month backpack trip through Southeast Asia to Hongkong. I hope and I wish.

God is so big and wonderful.

Wouldn't He give me the desires of my heart, as long as its beneficial?

He would give you your desires too!

My God is Uncontainable, Indescribable, and if He created the billions of stars and named them, do you think HE will not lavish on His beloved children?

Always remember - There are certain things in life that no one can tell you what to do. You have to decide what is best for yourself, with GOD!

Well, about working odd jobs.......hahahah! We will see.

christ_knight

I read one of Luwei's blog entry about his hair colour.

He asked whether his hair colour really stumbles people.

Just for the sake of it, (haha. I was bored), I went to ask about 5 people (not a lot) whether they thought his previous hair colour was "ah beng".

So far, all their personal responses were "no", and I felt relieved for Luwei.

And this week's sermon was about labelling!

We should just remove this "ah beng" label on Luwei, because he ain't one, and he is not going to live by that foolish standard, and he will not, because he is a child of God.

I feel that Luwei's hair might look "ah beng" or "unacceptable" 3 or 4 years ago.

But if we are talking about the culture of Singapore today, his hair colour is fine with the Singaporean crowd. Much more if we are talking about the youth culture in Singapore. Yes! I know of parents who are fine with their children having dyed strips of blonde hair!

I mean I am not a personal fan of BLONDE HAIR, but I do accept the fact that some people do prefer a certain colour, just as some people would prefer Jap black, Brown, Red, Light Red, Golden, Pink, Ash etc.

At the end of the day, I personally do not think that the Lord will say to Luwei on the Day of Judgment, "Luwei, you cannot come into heaven because you had blonde hair" or "Luwei, you will not receive your reward because you dyed your hair blonde".

And if we truly know Luwei, we will know he is a pretty nice guy who loves God! Need I elaborate?

1 Samuel 16:7 - "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Replies to tags -----

adelene says:
haha. travel!!! looking forward to the rd trip man!
2008/06/08 @ 12:23 AM

Hey adel, hopefully both of you can come along with me! Its a life changing experience to learn to be independent!

Debra says:
Sylvester's enjoying life! HAHA. Dreams, i know you wants to traveller! Take alot alot of pictures!
2008/06/07 @ 11:14 AM

Hi Debra! I'm sure God will give you what you love and have passion in too!

Cheryl says:
Dreams remind me of X'mas Bash's What are you dreaming of this Christmas. So your dream is to travel! No wonder you made the Jason character a travelling photographer. You weave your dreams into the script! :D
2008/06/06 @ 11:59 PM

Hmmm..cheryl, yes. hahahaha.

Cheryl says:
Dreams remind me of
2008/06/06 @ 11:58 PM

OK..what was this?

weiwei says:
YES! dreams! HAHA.
2008/06/06 @ 11:57 PM

Hi weiwei! Chase your dream just as God would give you the desires of your heart!

peijun says:
wa..its gona be exciting. haha. im gg redang in late july! will i see you! lil. and im going thailand in june! swiss air also! wahaha

Hi peijun! You going thailand?? But i'm going in July. Haha.

christ_knight

Back view of the Birthday boy, waiting for Flyer

Double Andy

A Beautiful View

Some Lame People

Huat and I

Birthday boy Smiling. Why Is Huat In Sucha Weird Position?

Andy And I (My Piao Di)

Sis Nana Is Looking At The Other Camera

christ_knight

Reading Ruxiang's blog brings back lots of memories.

Memories of Nissi 3 cell group members going to the hospital. Memories of some of us staying till late at night with her. Memories of us trying to cheer her up with laptops, games, DVD players, mp3s etc. Memories of the last night with her and her family. Memories of us visiting her at her house, talking to her, just spending time together.

I remember vividly who were the ones who always made an effort to visit her and be with her. People like Jialin, Huijin, her cell group, Wanxin, James Lin etc. Whatever these people did unto Ruxiang, has also blessed the Lord forever.

I guess all of us who have been with Ruxiang had gone through a tough time. Its about time to read her blog and be encouraged that she once lived a life for God, and once was with us encouraging us with her resilience to fight cancer, and is now with our most Beloved Father.

Read her blog, and see how far you have come, if you had been with her. See what God has done in her life previously, and what God has done in your life so far.

http://crystal4christ.blogspot.com/

Be glad that we will see her too one day, when our Father calls us home.

christ_knight

Two of the most famous Christians in the Victorian Era in England were Charles Spurgeon and Joseph Parker, both of them mighty preachers of the Gospel. Early in their ministries they fellowshipped and even exchanged pulpits. Then they had a disagreement, and the reports even got into the newspapers. Spurgeon accused Parker of being unspiritual because he attended the theater. Interestingly enough, Spurgeon smoked cigars, a practice many believers would condemn. Who was right? Who was wrong? Perhaps both of them were wrong! When it comes to questionable matters in the Christian life, cannot dedicated believers disagree without being disagreeable? “I have learned that God blesses people I disagree with!” a friend of mine told me one day, and I have learned the same thing. When Jesus Christ is Lord, we permit Him to deal with His own servants as He wishes. - Anonymous

Some amusing, foolish spoken or unspoken rules that Christians all over the world tend to come up with (Now tell me, who is right, and who is wrong?):

1. Cannot wear dresses or shirts with the star shape( Stars that are like the ones on the Singapore flag), because the star shape is "satanic" and might stumble people. (Then can we carry the Singapore flag? Can we wear Converse?). Can we wear shirts with "lightning" shapes on them? (Can we support PAP? PAP has a lightning shape on its logo. What is a lightning? What is a lightning shape? What if a kid draws a lightning? Is he satanic?)

2. Cannot dye too "bright" colours, if not you cannot serve in ministry. Because bright colours MIGHT stumble people. (What is bright? Why cannot we dye bright colours? Culturally unaccepted? But if we are talking about modern day culture, bright hair colours are generally accepted. Many non-christian friends  do not judge a person by his/her hair colour or looks.  Rather they look at a person's character. Why should Christians be so bothered about appearances when non-Christians are not? Will God stop someone from serving Him because of hair? The Bible tells me God looks at the heart. If you say bright hair is too attention seeking and you have a problem with it, then I got something to ask you. An Ah beng comes up to you and tells you he doesn't like your face. Who is the one who has the real problem? The Ah beng who "judged" you, or you, with the "unlikable face?")

3."If-you-love-God-you-will-do-this-or-that" unspoken pressure. (Since when was loving God all about doing things? If I do things for my church, does it naturally equate to serving God? No. God might want me to rest, but people might want me to work. Now, should I please God or people?)

4. Cannot wear clothes that are "deemed" as too tight (What about fat people? Do they have a choice? What about people who are bigger size? Why don't we tell them to put on loose clothes too? Should guys like me try to control where we look instead? Oh, if we cannot wear tight clothes, does it mean Christians cannot go swimming? Swimming costumes and trunks are really tight. LOL)

5. When ministries are not doing well, how effective are we at troubleshooting them before jumping to conclusions like, "demonic influences" and "someone must be sinning"? while it is true that all things have a spiritual agenda, not everything has a spiritual cause. We might just be doing things wrongly. Yes, even leaders do things wrongly.

6. Cannot watch certain movies depicting "too much ghostly encounters" (Then why do Christians watch Narnia, which is FULL OF Mythological creatures related to ancient mythologies and greek religions? If ghostly movies scare you, then do not watch by all means. But do not go around telling people not to watch, as if it is a God-give rule. One man's meat may be another man's poison. By the way, I LOVE NARNIA!)

Then maybe one day can I also set up a rule and say that all Christians must be slim and healthy, because fat Christians might stumble non-Christians.

Can I also encourage people not to eat meat, because eating meat stumbles vegetarians, and Buddhists, who are non-Christians?

Can Pastors drive cars then? Driving cars might stumble people as people might wonder why Pastors are so rich, yet some church-goers are so poor. Should there be a rule or unspoken rule that Pastors should not drive?

If I say what you wear and what you do is "ah beng", or too "loud", are you REALLY stumbling me, or am I just conveniently judging you according to your appearance?

Think critically. God is far more gracious and accepting than us sometimes.

Am I living according to what people say? When someone tells me to dye my hair black, I do it. When someone tells me not to wear certain clothes, I do it. So am I living for people, or am I living for God now? Is there a possibility that God does not care about certain rules we implement ? Yes. Remember this, we are justified by grace, not by the rules we hold on to.

Galatians 5:1-5

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand fast therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Now I, Paul, say to you that if you receive circumcision (a LAW/RULE), Christ will be of no advantage to you. I testify again to every man who receives circumcision that he is bound to keep the whole law. You are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by the law; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit, by faith, we wait for the hope of righteousness.

Note that certain rules still stands because it supports God's holiness and His moral laws. Rules like dressing modestly still stand because this rule supports God's character of holiness. Dressing skimpily to attract sexual lust is just not what Jesus would believe in.

christ_knight

Some stupid things I have done before as a leader:

"Mem" stands for member

Pressurize people to stay for catering -

Syl - why you not staying for catering?

Mem - erm, cos I want to study.

Syl - Huh..why? you know catering is important right?

Mem - yea but I want to study too. exams coming.

Syl - what time you need to reach home?

Mem - i think 7pm lo

Syl - erm..cannot stay awhile?

Mem - don't think so la.

Syl - ok loh...(last resort, put people on guilt trip) but its best for you to stay la, and enjoy the fellowship.

Mem - ....

Asking for reason for not coming to church -

Syl (on the phone) - why you not in church?

Mem - i'm sick

Syl - huh (try to sound concerned), sick with what? you ok?

Mem - fever

Syl - fever? how many degrees?

Mem - 38 degrees

Syl - ok loh..rest well. if later you can come come loh. God might heal you in service too! (Why can't God want him to rest at home..)

Mem - ...

Asking for reason for not coming church -

Syl (on the phone) - why you not in church?

Mem - i'm sick

Syl - huh (try to sound concerned), sick with what? you ok?

Mem - headache.

Syl - huh, headache ah? very pain?

Mem - alright. quite la.

Syl - ok loh..rest well. if later you can come come loh. God might heal you in service too! (Why can't God want him to rest at home..) But you can still walk right?

Mem -er...ya...i think so.

 Syl - try come loh

Mem - ...

Listening for the sake of answering -

Syl - so you want to tell me your problem?

Mem - ya i have been quite stressed.

Syl - just pray

Mem - i did. but its just very hard.

Syl - i guess you just need to pray.

Sometimes, leaders will do this because we are genuinely concerned. But leaders can be genuinely concerned and yet still express the concern in a wrong way, which makes us wrong.

Leaders generally learn how to do the above-stated conversations by watching how other leaders do it, and also because it has been done on ourselves before.

We are generally all very much alike. Why? Because we are all "expected" to act and lead in a certain way. Eventually, everyone ends up leading in the same style, ignoring whether it's good or bad. Which explains why most of us have made the EXACT SAME MISTAKES before. We're all made from cookie cutters. - quoted from a leader, a church friend of mine

One of the job scopes of leaders is to "CHECK THOROUGHLY" and be able to answer and account for our members' status. This explains our obesssion with "where the member is", "how many degrees is your fever", "what time you have to leave", "can you still walk" kind of questions.

I am sorry if I have done these insensitive "checking" on you before.

Now let's be honest. How many of us have been guilty of overly-checking our members and causing our members to ask : Do my leaders trust me?

christ_knight

luwei says:
hey bro!!hahaz i see stuffs from a diff view after reading haha
2008/06/12 @ 11:49 PM

Hi luwei! I am glad you did. Everything and every situation has many perspectives. We got to have a balanced perspective, as much as we can.

adelene says:
weiwei.yeah i deleted it. haha long time ago.
2008/06/12 @ 01:15 AM

weiwei says:
ade, do you have a blog? its deleted right?
2008/06/12 @ 01:09 AM

weiwei says:
and the verses you gave me, they inspired me alot! :D
2008/06/12 @ 01:09 AM

Hi weiwei! That Message Bible verse, about burdens, really spoke to me too. God really comforted me through that verse. The Pslam verse, is a very powerful verse. Anything can happen, but our trust is in Almighty God!

weiwei says:
the only PAP i know, is my kindergarten. HAHA. hello sylvester, i admit i had the 3rd unspoken pressure. thanks for reminding me...........:D
2008/06/12 @ 01:08 AM

Yes, weiwei, the if-you-love-God-you-must-do-this-and-that pressure can be very real. Sometimes, God really does want us to rest. God is not a slave driver. He is merciful, He is loving, He is compassionate. Jesus knows when you need to work, when you need to rest. Listen to Him, and learn from Him. Even if people want you to work, but God wants you to rest, then rest. But of course, its not a reason or excuse for us to be lazy! Haha!

adelene says:
cheryl, i love pap too! haha. but they have flaws too. but who doesn't? =)
2008/06/12 @ 12:51 AM

I guess PAP did give us a lot of benefits. But one thing I hate about PAP is that PAP is very controlling, and comes against anyone who speaks about them, or anyone who tries to think in another way about PAP.

adelene says:
cheryl, haha, i mean it. hahahaha. ok. God wants us to take care of our bodies, eat well, live well, right?
2008/06/12 @ 12:50 AM

Yes. I hope my skininess doesn't stumble anyone!

Cheryl says:
HAHA Ade I'm so amuse by your tag! Sylvester, why are you always talking about PAP in a negative context?! I LIKE PAP! Haha!
2008/06/12 @ 12:19 AM

Cheryl, PAP is good....in some ways

adelene says:
i like this post!!!! it's hilarious! but also so true! =) fat christians do stumble non-christians, that's why i'm trying to adopt a healthy lifestyle these days.
2008/06/11 @ 11:48 PM

Ok adelene, I am glad you are trying to keep fit.

Xia0^t|ggeR says:
haha. i like your hair-y post! i agree with you! some randomess. dye too much hair will spoil the hair quality.
2008/06/11 @ 10:15 PM

Hi xiao tigger! Ya la, dye hair spoils the hair. If Jesus were to walk through our service on Saturdays, He will see our heart, and not our appearances.

timo says:
i remember something about a sudden gender segregation culture just because guys cannot interact with girls. causes a whole rift and awkwardness
2008/06/11 @ 10:00 AM

Hi timo, is there such a culture? I always hang out with girls and guys in church! Haha!

* merlynthemagical says:
dropped by.

Halo merlyn! thanks for dropping by!

christ_knight

<< I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4) >>

Looking back on the 2 years of army (I was sharing with weiwei's cell group), I see that God has indeed walked through fire with me.

God never left me, nor forsook me.

He was always there. When I was happy, He rejoiced with me. When I was down, He carried me. When I was lost, He gave me directions. When I was sad, He comforted me. When I was lonely in my camp bunk, He spoke to me, and accompanied me.

So Lord, I see, that You have left Your loving handprints on my life the past 2 years. And so I see, I will love You forever.

Remembering 2 years ago, when I first stepped into Basic Millitary Training School, everything was confusing and uncertain. With God, He guided me step by step. He taught me how to deal with situations with His Word in the Bible.

And when I was in BMT, He was the One who walked through it with me. When it was too tough to go on, He encouraged me.

When I was too tired to run that 2.4km, He reminded me and told me to strain toward the goal in His Word. When it was too painful to carry on with the 24km route march, He reminded me that I should rejoice in my God my Saviour, even when everything seemed so dark and tough. When I laid in on my bunk bed, missing my family and friends, He saw my tears and heart. He told me, that if I asked for time to pass like a wind, He will cause time to pass like a wind.

<< When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17) >>

<< God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:1-3) >>

Even as I am writing this, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

When the choice of whether I should go command school dawn on me, (Yes I was qualified to enter command school!) I heard Him tell me to reject the opportunity to go to command school. I was unsure but I followed Him. When I entered Jurong Camp, (after about 1 month of rejecting the chance to go command school) I began to realise why He did not want me to go to command school.

When I was in Jurong Camp the initial months, it was tough. Jesus walked through fire again with me. He was with me every 5.45am, when I was doing all the jumping jacks, the push-ups, the pull-ups. And then I began to ask God for a way out, so that I can spend more time with my mom and family, and my church friends.

My God, who is ever-loving, answered me after about 2 months of me praying for a way out. I was offered 2 stay-out positions - the multi-media team, and the personal assistant of a Brigadier General. I was stunned, and in awe. How could it be possible, that my God listens to Sylvester-sized prayers?? (Just as how Michelle Kon puts it in her blog) 

My Lord, You did not just give me what I wanted, but You gave me more than I could have imagined!

<< Ah Lord God! It is you who made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you. (Jeremiah 32:17) >>

<< Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:10b) >>

I prayed and chose the position of the assistant to the Brigadier General. The 1 1/2 years that I was in office, I can tell you now that it was equally challenging and strenous. Most people have the mentality that office work is easy. Most people laugh at me when I said that I was working in a General's office. To me, it was God-given, and never should be looked down upon. Moreover, it is extremely challenging to be the BIGGEST BOSS' personal assistant in the army.

God by this time, has entrusted me with certain level of power when He gave me this position. He gave me favour with high-ranking officers. As much as the position was tough, Jesus also made it easy for me by constantly givine me ways out of situations.

When I accidentally locked up my Boss' car, God was there to calm me down. Jesus taught me a good lesson through my Boss after the whole episode.

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)

After about 1 year plus of being in office, I was posted back to my unit, and commanded to join the forces to search for the fugitive (like how the newspapers had been reporting). Throughout the long nights, extremely hot afternoons, God was the One who sustained me, and gave me strength. Throughout the last 2 months of doing the search, God gave me time to rest, and to think, and to reflect on my life.

Now that I am OUT of Army, I see how much Jesus has walked through with me.

"My Lord, You walked with me through fire."

<< My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. (Psalm 119:50) >>

Now, looking back at the 2 years, I am starting to have a deeper understanding of the above statement.

Which of the gods of the earth will walk through fire with me or with you? Who on this earth will walk through EVERY tough moment with you?

There were times when people forgot about me when I was in Army. There were times when everything seemed lost and confusing. There were times when I was frustrated, angry and irritated with what I was doing in Army. There were times when the whole world did not understand what I was going through. (Just as how Kenni puts it in his blog, that only those who went through it with us will truly understand)

<< When I said, "My foot is slipping," your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. (Psalm 94:18-19) >>

But after these 2 years of testing and blessings, above all, I have learnt to do one thing -

'When all else fades, my soul will dance with You, where the love lasts forever.'

Yes Lord, I will dance and rejoice with You even if my whole world collaspes.

christ_knight

Ok these photos are from the April trip to Bangkok and Pattaya. A bit late, but I just found them. And THEY ARE HILARIOUS!

Seriously, what was I thinking about when I did this??? (last day of Bangkok and Pattaya trip)

Ok. Lame. (1st day of Bangkok and Pattaya trip)

Sean is always sneaky.

We saw this Thai punk at a weekend market.

Whats that in KS' hand?

Stopping for an ice blended drink in hot hot Bangkok.

Spoilt Singaporeans in Bangkok.

Spoilt Singaporeans again, waiting for movie to start.

Not an exactly nice face, but cool. HAHA

Pattaya "hotel" room. Luwei looks like he wants to bash "camera-shy" Xuanwen up.

Watch out for Shuen. She looks hideous. (KS was killed by her. I was next.)

Sean looks dead.

Shuen looks dead too.

I AM DEAD.

Focus on Xuanwen...........Nothing la.

They took this photo on their tuktuk, which was behind my tuktuk. What was I thinking about again about that plastic bag headdress.......(It looks kinda nice)

Thai cute cat. Poor prawn. Died twice.

Does this cat look transexual ? (Thailand what...)

OK LUWEI PLEASE STOP YOUR "AIR-CONNING"

The Last Supper. Where were the rest? (toilet)

Xuanwen says YUMMY !

Ok I did not like the sweet stuff they were buying, so I went mad.

I seriously have forgotten that I even did such a dumb thing in front of the uncle. He seemed like he was escaping the wrath of my armpit.

Sean and his cool face.

Sean and his cool face AGAIN.

Doing a "boy-band" walk.

Xuanwen eats Shuen.

Dead. Last day at Thai airport restaurant.

Xuanwen says YUMMY AGAIN!

Was I dead?

Ready to bash up Shuen

More photos of the trip, just go to the write of my blog page and click on the link.

(Actually my camera photos are with Kongsheng. These photos are courtesy of Xuanwen's camera! Thanks guys for a wonderful memorable trip!)

christ_knight

Amazing race was fun. Can you believe it? I was LED! haha.

Huat was the leader! It was fun to be able to play, and to be on the ground hanging out with the members! You can help them, encourage them, push them on, and help them again! Being with members on the ground is really what I love to do. Really. Enjoying them, pushing them, helping them, and seeing them overcoming obstacles first hand.

That was what Jesus was like! Being with the people. (just one photo.lame. ok melimoo, this photo is for you. lol)

I really loved it, the part about being with the people. We ran and ran! One funniest thing was that we sent 3 scouts to find the location of the rockclimbing place, and in the end the 3 scouts got lost and the rest of us got there before them!

I was like...ok..and the cute thing was that they did it with such enthusiasm. The minute Huat and I told them to go scout around, they ran off so fast...but ended up lost!

But they were really doing their best! Lester, Ewan, Roger and Aloysious, THANK YOU for always running first in front to scout.

Thank you Javier for giving me a surprise gift on amazing race day! Zhong Tai and Javier were the famous ones who were always lagging behind! haha. I kinda pushed them on by saying, "GIRLS ARE RUNNING FASTER THAN YOU!" and they will speed up. ahhahaha!

Huat did a great job making decisions and trying to help members and encouraging them. I did not do much. Huat was great! BRAVO! He was decisive, and I just assisted in his decisions.

THANKS COMMITTEE! Thank you, Peijun, Keni, Cherie, Winnie, Kenneth, Luwei, Shuen, for sacrificing the fun that you all could have with your members and went ahead to help out! I am sure you guys learnt a lot too by planning.

Thank you anyone who were marshals, or who planned the games whom I did not mention!

OH! My mom was asked to go some sort of assistant leaders' training by her cell leader! PRAISE GOD! I mean, this is the last thing that will ever happen to my once-bitter, once-depressed, once-angry, once-defensive mom. I love my mom.

But she kinda rejected. haha.. Typical humble mommy. I always think single moms are the toughest women around. I just told xinlong that!

GOD is indeed the defender of the widow, and the fatherless. God be my Lord only! He has shown Himself very faithful to my mom and I.

King James Bible
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. James1:27

"Be kind to strangers, widows, and fatherless children." Genesis 22:21-22

"It shall be for the stranger, for the fatherless, and for the widow."
Be kind to widows, orphans, fatherless children and strangers. Share whatever you have with them. Deuteronomy 24:17-21

"Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked." Psalms 82:3-4

Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the 
poor. In your hearts do not think evil of each other.'

Zechariah 7:10  

Amazing Race, Amazing Mom!

christ_knight

The people to thank this week :

Thanks weiwei for driving me home from my grandma's wake, and for coming to the wake at such a late hour! Thanks for also sharing with me the song!

Thanks xinlong, for thanking me for helping you in the photoshop, and giving me a chance to recap my basics!

Thanks jieming for asking me out for a movie of kungfu panda which was hilarious.

Thanks mom for being such a great and tough mom, bringing us up for the past 20plus years. If you were to be given a pay slip every month, your pay slip would amount to more than 100K per year. But of course, your love is priceless.

Thanks my bro and sis, for making my day sometimes with your lameness and random movements. Thanks bro, for buying WII Nitendo, and making us all look so lame.

Thanks kenneth yeo for always being there to listen, and yes, all you did was listen, and all I needed was a listening ear.

Thanks kenneth yeo (again) and kenni, for being the first ones to be at my grandma's wake, witnessing the WHOLE process......of....you-know-what. And thanks, sis wp for making a trip at 6plus to my grandma's wake, even though you had class at 7pm.

Thanks bryan.....for calling me at such a late night hour and sharing with me some of your issues..

Thanks kongsheng, for taking all my nonsense talk, for letting me be a human being (lol), for listening to me, for encouraging me, for taking my crap, for being with me. Thanks for also being willing to walk through my problems with me. If I were dumb, I might think that you were my savior. But I am not dumb.

Thanks wanxin, for informing me that leaders' training is canceled.

Thanks bro rx, for being always ready to listen to me, in season, and out of season. Thanks for your photo frame thingy.

Thanks adelene, for always chionging town with me. Yes a good friend indeed who can stand through with me through fire.

I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart;
I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. —Psalm 9:1

Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls—  18 Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation.    Habakkuk. 3:17-18

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing     Thessalonians 5:16-18

christ_knight

The night when my grandma passed away, my mom, my brother, sister and I rushed down to her house to gather with the rest of the family.

Along the way, I could hear my mom sniffing at the back of the cab.

When we reached the house, the atmosphere was solemn, and everyone looked sad. As we approached the bedroom, fear gripped my heart. You know, its the kind of feeling when you approach a lifeless body, no matter how close you were with the person. 

There on the bed, was my grandma, motionless, but looking as if she passed away peacefully. Soon word reached us that she passed away while being fed, because her heart failed her.

Hours passed, and as my relatives started making the necessary arrangements, my cousin, who brought me to Christ, called her pastor to come to the house.

When her pastor arrived, my cousin gathered the christians in the family first and then all my relatives, big, small, young, old in my grandma's bedroom.

I knew what she was going to do. She was about to give a testimony of how my grandma actually received Christ into her life months before she passed away.

And as she went on about how grandma would pray with her, and how she received Christ, and confessed Jesus, and how she herself told my grandma about the Book of Life, I was really encouraged.

I was encouraged by her courage. I was encouraged by her faith, and I admired her love for my grandma and for Jesus our Lord. As she spoke, our relatives who are strong Taoist uncles and aunties, devoted Buddhist cousins and aunties stood there in the room and listened to her intently.

I knew at that point of time, that strongholds were being broken, that light was shed in darkness, and that the seed of the gospel was planted. What was amazing was that, she went on to share about how Jesus died on the cross for all of us, and how if we believed in Jesus, that we would see grandma in heaven again.

Such valour, such faith. To stand in front of a group of christians to preach is already challenging, much more a group of taoist and buddhist relatives. After she shared the testimony, her pastor led all, ALL of our relatives in prayer.

Though we tried to ask for a christian funeral because of my grandma's confession but was rejected, we (the christians in the family), know that grandma is already in heaven. We also know, that God will be the One who will save our family.

He saved my grandma, He will save the rest of my relatives too.

As for my cousin, I really thank God for her.

christ_knight

I realise most Singaporeans have this mentality : When troubles come, "SIAM", in other words meaning, "When troubles or inconveniece come, get out of the way, and not do anything to help.

Sometimes, when we are on the bus and we see an old woman boarding the bus, we pretend to be asleep. We sleep, and we do not care about her need and we give ourselves a whole load of excuses of not giving up the seat.

I talked to a number of my friends who are Singaporeans about fighting for Singapore in the context of a war or conflicts with neighbouring countries. They told me they would run away, and not fight, because a fight is not worthy of their time, money and lives. It was more about themselves, than the nation.

I have seen an old man collapsed on the bus due to heat and exhaustion. All the passengers in the bus could do was to watch, or pretend not to see, and do nothing or just talk about it. I went up and help, and shouted for someone to help too. It was just a basic compassion moment, I thought.

The problem is, in any case of a need for public assistance, and if I do step up to help, I know there will be some people at the back of the bus or crowd, muttering, and criticising what I am doing.

"Oh, why is that young lad so kaypo?"

"Oh what does he think he is trying to do...act kind and concerned?", some will mock.

"Can't he just leave it to the bus driver??"

"Can't this guy just leave it to the people that are coming?"

"He's blocking the way of alighting passengers by helping the guy and creating a commotion!"

These people are typical self-centred Singaporeans - Watch and do nothing when a need arises. And when its too inconvenient or deemed too dangerous for them to help, they will pretend not to see, and prevent others from helping by discouraging and muttering under their breaths so as to hide their own selfishness. They will back down.

At the end of the day, Singaporeans as a nation did grow up with the mentality of "Big Brother is watching, and he will take care of everything."

christ_knight

In alot of ways, I think my christian cousin is a great exemplary for other christians.

I am always amazed at how I, a christian who speaks in tongues, can pray, talk about God with a christian (my cousin) who does not speak in tongues.

I hold my cousin in high regard because, though she does not speak in tongues, she displays love, and she displays the goodness of Christ.

For the Bible is true about this,

1 Corinthians 13

Love

 1If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,^[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

 13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Though she does not speak in tongues (which is contrary to what I believe), she has love. She has love for my family members who are christians and non-christians. She displays the characteristics of love (being patient, kind, not boasting and envying, not proud, not easily angered etc).

And now these 3 remain : faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. I always believe that as a christian, I can do many things, and profess many things, and behave in a right way, but if I have no genuine love for people, then I am nothing but an empty shell.

My cousin, in this aspect, is far more Christ-like, than many christians who speak in tongues and yet not show love.

For God is the perfect expression of Love, and in essence, God is Love.

John 4:16b - God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

 19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

We who love God, must love His people too. Yes, even those who are unlovable.

christ_knight

http://www.frenszone.com/?idAff=18401 Join today. Its like friendster.

christ_knight

http://www.allthroughtime.blogspot.com

New blog. Still changing, still adding.

Blogspot is just amazing.. I mean I have been using tabulas for up to 4 to 5 years...and tabulas is not able to upload song properly..

So I guess...haha