I love God more than ever

christ_knight

God,

i know You are powerful.

actually You are ALL-POWERFUL.

but i know too, Your children are ignorant of Your power in them.

i shall make them doubt Your power, and Your love,

everytime i can.

because i know once they doubt You, and rely on their own stupid ways, i can mislead them, and destroy their lives.

i know too, THE ALMIGHTY, that You will win one day.

but until the day comes when You throw me into Sheol,

i will steal Your children away from You.

because i know they are Your beloved.

i will distract them from spending time with You.

i will block their ears and eyes to see You, by tempting them.

i will make them behave like animals, seeking sex everywhere, and cause them to fall into filthy sin.

as for those STRONG DISCIPLES OF YOURS everywhere in the world,

i will speak fear into them, so that they will shut their golden mouths, that they might not speak truth, nor shed light in their friends' lives.

i will pray with my helpers for them to fall, for their testimonies of Your Glory to become null and void by causing them to fall below the standards You have set for them.

see, those dumb christians.

they were strong.  

but i have made THOUSANDS of them weak and mediocre.

see how those christians lie. see how they drink and make merry. see how they smoke. see how they DENY YOUR NAME. see how they speak of vulgarities in front of Your creation. see how they follow me.

and while i can stop them from advancing the Heavenly Kingdom,

i will make my mark to establish a world of sin, and hatred towards You.

You made them, and You love them. but i hate them. and i want them with me in hell.

one thing i fear most, God, honestly (and even my fallen angels know), is the Cross and Blood of Christ; and Your righteous children who yearn all day to know You and to establish Your Kingdom.

everytime Your righteous children speak of His Name, my helpers RUN AND RUN.... and all my plans come crashing.

but wait and see, and i will cause the whole world to turn against them, God.

and we will see who are those who are truly loyal and faithful to You.

i always imagine what if Singapore goes to war in the next ten years.

i am in an active unit camp, which means, we will be the first to go into enemy's territory. and when war breaks out, we will have to be ready to set off within 48hours.

what will happen to my family and friends?

i don't think i can run away with them. because if war really breaks out, i think the government will stop all abled men from leaving the country.

but the other part of me also tells me if my country is being attacked, my family and friends are in peril of death too.

what will we do in times of war?

where will all our top leaders be?

what will they do?

will the leaders make a beeline for the airports to leave the country?

will they stay and fight?

will they try to fend off the enemy within 3 days and wait for support from other allies?

will they surrender if the enemy is really overpowering?

will they launch a premptive (surprise and prepared) strike against the enemy's important installations when certain talks fail?

i think that war can be very very sudden. 

what if Malaysia and Singapore had been having failed water talks but these events were not reported in the media?

and when our government is really desperate for water, would they launch a surprise attack against Malaysia?

or will the Indonesians suddenly decide to wipe out their rich "irritating little pimple" because of frustrating failed talks, without even telling anyone of the plans?

now that i am in army, i pray that war will not happen. seriously, i believe our soldiers can fight. but a real war would be very frightening.

i know that if one day i lift my eyes to the sky and see unfamiliar planes soaring above our skies, the worst has already begun.

want a life of joy?

want peace?

want close friends who will go through life with you?

want true, non-backstabbing friends?

want a close knitted family?

want to save marriages?

want love for your mom and dad?

want to quit smoking, drinking, drugs, addictions, pornography etc?

want to lead in groups, play in a band, serve in a cafe,  usher people, produce film, sound, video etc?

want sports?

want parties and celebrations?

want someone who will always be there to hear you and talk to you?

want to feel satisfied and not feel lonely?

want to fill the vaccuum in your heart?

want to get out of confusion?

want purpose in life?

want a healthy lifestyle?

want your birthdays to be remembered?

want to go to heaven when you die?

want to know where you came from, where you are going when you die?

want to know how the world and universe came about?

christ_knight

this chinese new year, i was really amazed.

i am still amazed!

admist all the fun, ang pows, goodies, talking etc, i prayed with my grandma, my non-christian aunty, uncle, and shared the gospel to my cousin!

i did it with God, and of course my christian cousin, my mom, and my christian aunty.

mind you, my aunty, uncle and cousin ARE STRONG TAOISTS.

i consider this a spiritual breakthrough!

on all occasions, i shared the gospel right in front of the idol altars.

even as my mom, cousin and  i opened our mouths, we knew light was shed in that place, at that very moment. we knew demons were fleeing, and the enemies' strongholds shaken so badly! 

who says we were not scared?

who says we were not worried about our relatives getting angry, especially talking about death of Jesus on chinese new year, which is considered an inauspicious thing to do in the chinese culture?

who says we were not frustrated at our own fears of sharing?

but we did it anyway. WE JUST OPENED OUR MOUTHS. WE JUST PRAYED IN FRONT OF ALL THE RELATIVES AND THE IDOL ALTAR. WE JUST CLOSED OUT EYES, BOWED OUR HEADS AND PRAYED, TRUSTING GOD WAS WITH US.

even as i shared and prayed, i knew victory was ours. i knew salvation was ours.

God wants these kind of christians in His Kingdom, if not me, but my mom and my cousin.

christians who are RADICAL.

christians who are OBEDIENT.

christians who are DARING.

christians who are FAITHFUL.

christians who TRUST GOD.

christians who will claim AUTHORITY and POWER to CRUSH the kingdom of darkness in JESUS NAME.

now we pray and work towards our ex-taoist grandma getting baptised in the Lord Jesus, and declaring to all her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, in-laws of her faith in Jesus.

NOW, i can literally see satan loosing his grip on my family and shivering in fear in his crumbld castle!

i really wish sometimes i am not just going through time and going through motion just for the sake of it.

you know how sometimes "we switch off" our minds (go to auto-pilot and pass by life) when our parents nag at us?

you know how sometimes we sms our friends when we are out with our family?

you know sometimes we just appear at family outings just for the sake of it?

you know how sometimes we just pass by each day, taking our friends for granted and forgetting to thank them?

you know how sometimes we don't say "i love you" to our parents and care for them when they are sick?

like sometimes when everyone is at home, but you are on MSN?

these things that we do, show that we are just going through the motion and for the sake of the situation.

but seriously, if we knew that we were going to be in extreme pain and suffering and were to die on the hospital bed today,

who would be the ones at our deathbed comforting us? who would be the ones who will cry for us? who would be the ones who would be worried sick? who would be the ones who would be thinking about the times when you were younger and how nice you were to them?

the very people that we "switch off" to, and neglect, will most probably be the ones at our deathbed.

and if we knew we were going to die today, would we still do the things we do?

would we still go to MSN and chat fervently with our friends about the latest handbag or game when our family members are outside our rooms?

would we still tell our mom to keep quiet when she tells us to change our lazy attitude?

would we still be busily SMSing ALL our friends "happy chinese new year!" when we are at the yearly family gathering?

would we still take for granted and forget to thank our friends who are always there for us?

would we still say, "mom, dad, i need to go off to meet my friends in town." halfway through your sister's birthday celebration?

would we still "switch off" our minds when our parents talk to us?

i try my best to love my mother, and be there physically and MENTALLY when there are family outings. i try my best to talk to my family members whenever i can. but i still find myself lacking and "switching off" sometimes.

but if you, you who always go through the motion with your parents, switch yourself off towards them, forget to thank your good friends who help you alot, or are always on MSN when your family is in and not talking to them even for the slightest bit, i feel very sad for you.

because if you were on your deathbed today, you will have tonnes of regrets in your heart.

but maybe, you don't even know the love of those who always try to get your attention, that you die of ignorance.

make an effort to listen and talk to those who really love you, nag at you and those who try to get attention from you.

they will be the last faces you see before you leave this world!