I love God more than ever

i've got nothing to write

i am called nameless

i am screaming silently.

i've got nothing to say.

yet i wrote 4 lines

no, 5 lines.

alas..how perplexed i am!

6..7..

i met up with my ex good friend yesterday!

Nothing much. Just a simple dinner. With loads of memories...with lots of thoughts.

haha..one nice memory was like i went with Kay Yong to sentosa fantasy island with my mom, his mom and my sister...

hahaha..my sister was primary 6 then, and she was not allowed to swim..ahah! so she had to sit around with the 2 aunties to chit chat. keke..

i remembered we had real fun.oh! we went to volcano land too.

yea.and this ex good friend of mine used to come to my house here to do bad stuff.haha.

sweetsweet memories of early youth.

always wanted him to know God.but i know la,with his monkey character,it is so hard. hopefully, he doesnt find me irritating

well..at least..i kept some of my secondary school friends till now...it so planned. haha..God oh God sia..You are so cool in planning.

most of them R IN CHURCH!!!!!!!! hahahaha..

OH YA.kay yong said I GREW MORE HANDSOME?

everyone.judge by yourselves k? hahahahaha.

oh melisa..from mass comm...hmmm...i jus read ur email which was sent to me long long ago...i really thank u for ur advice...and if only i had seen that email during my difficult period...i will be greatly consoled..yea..thanks for being there.! im outta it! continue to read my blog and comment on it! hope u can enlighten me too!
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Why oh why?

Why do I search everywhere?

For some things just to satisfy myself?

When I know that I will never find it in this world?

Why do I fall in love?

When I know there will be no end?

Why do I dream of you forsaking me?

When I do not even know where your heart is?

What can I hope for?

When I hope in God?

Why does God love me so much?

When I love the world more sometimes?

Why does the devil embrace me some nights?

And why still I push him away?

As I push God away?

Why does my heart feel this way every time? The way it feels now as I type?

Why do I love you so much?

Yet why it seems you love me so much too?

What are you trying to show me?

When u leave me with a kiss?

Why do you mislead me?

Why do I misunderstand?

When can I ever break free?

Why do the past memories flash constantly?

Of the times when you tickled my heart?

Of the times when you cuddle me?

Why have all this gone with the pass of time?

Why do I still ask why?

When will I know why?

How will I realize?

When will I know that this world has no answers for me?

When will I learn to be patient with God?

When will I be done with my questions?

Why oh why?

Why did I do the things I do?

Why do I still entertain hypocrisy?

What makes me?

If I entertain the things I hate?

Why do I hate myself then?

Why did my feelings for u dissipated like the rain of the clouds this night?

Why did I let the love grow at first?

And what for kill it afterward?

Why am I reminded of you often?

Why does every love song remind me of you?

There must be a reason.

What can make me forget you?

Why even when I’m preoccupied,

There will be pockets of my heart and my mind

That will be with you?

What will Jesus do?

When He sees me?

When will I love Him as much as He does to the world?

Why did oh lovely God,

die for us?

When we are nothing but filth.

Why oh why..
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